“Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”.
Clichés, though somewhat annoying, stand the test of time for a reason. Mainly because they’re true. This saying is especially true in stepfamilies. So true that it should be taught in Stepfamilies 101 right along with Managing Expectations 101.
Each stepfamily is formed under different circumstances and the dynamic is different in each family. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to place your expectations on a person and try to squeeze them into your mold. Don’t do it! This strategy will always fail. Sometimes we want the easy fix but with any worthy venture, it takes time for love to grow and become something of lasting beauty. We need to listen actively to each family member and try to understand the challenges that come with being part of this family.
If you had to walk a mile in the shoes of my family members, it would feel something like this.
That’s my perspective on their perspective. I suppose I could ask them how they’re feeling. It definitely helps to actively listen to each other and try to empathize without standing in judgment. I want to sign off with this Bible verse.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
I have to make conscious choices not to control every detail of my families life so we can enjoy the short time we have together. Sometimes that’s easier said that done, but it can be done if we continue to step in love.
Other posts in this series:
- Stepping in Love : Stepfamily Series
- Stepping in Love : What’s my role anyway?
- Stepping in Love : Love til it hurts