What married couples can learn from Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Grammy performance

Husbands and wives should behave in such a way that other people become slightly envious of the resilience, passion, humor, strength (and the list goes on) of your relationship.

I didn’t watch the 2014 Grammy Awards but heard all about Beyonce and Jay-Z’s performance. I won’t bother to link to it since it is trending just about everywhere today.  As a Christian, I’m not in agreement with the explicit lyrics and the overly sexualized image that Beyoncé portrays especially now that she is the mother to a little girl. I also think that the average husband would have a really hard time letting millions of people look at his half-naked wife. The song would have been just as powerful if it was performed in a more classy and less explicit way simply because of the fact that the Carters were performing together.

Though you may not count either of these artists among your favorites, there is no way you can ignore them. They’re everywhere. Individually, they were successful performers, but together they are an unstoppable force. The consolidating of  two already influential artists produced the most powerful couple in entertainment. That’s what I appreciate about them because I think this is an often-ignored aspect of marriage. Yes, I married my husband for love, but I also knew that he could help me achieve success. He’s smart, brutally  honest, creative and never satisfied with the status-quo. That is exactly who a reformed slacker (me!) needs in a husband. Ladies, if a man is dead-weight before you get married, chances are he will continue to pull you down after he’s put a ring on it. Look for someone who challenges you and brings out the parts of you that enhance both of your lives.

“One will put a thousand to flight…but two will put ten thousand to flight” (Lev 26:8; Deut 32:30)

For all you mathletes out there, this type of equation doesn’t make sense. If one person can chase 1000, then there’s no way mathematically that two can chase away 10,000. Multiplication or applying exponents won’t balance the equation. It doesn’t make sense, but that my friend, is the power of agreement. Two people working together to achieve a common purpose is much more effective than one person working individually.

“If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.” (Genesis 11:6)

I hope that the passion that was on display last night was real, but even if it was just a performance, there is still a lot married couples can learn from it. Here’s my take-away:

1. They work together to achieve success. They were already successful by themselves, but they combine their influence, creativity and talents to make the other person even more successful. Celebrate your spouse’s strengths and let them enhance yours. This is a win-win situation. It always seems like they have a well-thought out plan for their careers and the other person is intrinsically part of that plan. Nothing seems to happen by chance. If a marriage is to be successful, couples have to be intentional about the direction their lives will go in.

2. They present a united front publically. Every Hollywood couple has to battle the break-up rumors but in spite of these rumors they always seem to be crazy in love when they appear together for photo-ops. This could be an image spun by their PR machine, but they seem to live by a principle that I believe is key to the success of any relationship.  My husband and I try to live by the words “Correct me privately, but support me publically.” If we get into a fight moments before we have to go out together, we both put on happy faces and wait until we get home to finish it off. I have no poker face, so this is much harder for me than it is for my husband.

3. They make marriage look hot and exciting. In a day and age when marriage is misunderstood and relegated to a useless institution, couples need to do everything they can to make their own marriages as exciting, fulfilling and intense as they want them to be. Marriage is hard work and it can be thankless and frustrating, even for Beyoncé and Jay-Z I’m sure. Husbands and wives should behave in such a way that other people become slightly envious of the resilience, passion, humor, strength (and the list goes on) of your relationship.  You don’t want people to leave with a sense of relief that they didn’t get married or worse yet, that they didn’t marry you!

A marriage that glorifies God and leaves an eternal legacy is worth more to Him than Beyonce’s and Jay-Z’s millions. It was always His intention for His people to be the power couples of their time. Before the fall, He gave Adam and Eve complete dominion over the world so that they could live out their purpose. Now that we are in Christ, our power and influence transcends the natural world, the entertainment industry or even the economic realm. There is much more to a strong marriage than what I wrote about today. I just felt that this aspect was worth pointing out.  Marriage is hard work, but having a great marriage isn’t impossible. You just have to be speaking the same language as your spouse…or singing the same song.

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